Russia x Reader Forgiveness

Pain. Fear. Betrayal.
You raced down the street, not wanting to believe what your eyes had seen. You had come home from school only to find your only friend in a pool of blood, your 'boyfriend' standing over her with a bloody knife. He looked up. You were scared and he was coming towards you. He took a good swipe at your side and his knife merged with you flesh. You ran. You ran as fast and as far away as you could, until you couldn't run anymore. Exhausted, you sat down. Neither knowing nor caring where you were, you began to cry. As evening turned to night, you noticed a fierce drop in temperature. 'I'd better find shelter, or I'll freeze', you thought. You wandered a little further until you came upon a field of tall sunflowers. You lay down. It was surprisingly warm. Too tired to do anything else you slowly drifted to sleep.
When you awoke you found yourself in a rather large bed. You sat up but quickly regretted it remembering the cut on your side. Strangely enough, your side had been stitched and wrapped. Half of you wondered about where you were and who did this, and the other half wanted to poke around and see if you could find anything. Your curiosity got the better of you and after a bit of wandering, you came to a dining room.
"Oh… you're up. Come join us. You're just in time for lunch." Unsure, you sat down. The owner of the voice was a large young man. He wore a long tan coat and a large white scarf. He had a strange accent and deep purple eyes. To his left was a boy. He was shaking badly and looked quite scared. To his right sat a pale man with piercing red eyes. He was loud and spoke with a German accent:
"So, Russia, picking kids up off zhe streets, are ve?" he chuckled to himself.
"Nyet, Gilbert, I am not 'picking kids off the streets.' I found her outside and badly injured, so naturally, I brought her in." you were surprised at how the man reacted to being called a country. He didn't seem fazed at all. "anyway, what were you doing in my sunflowers?" this was directed to you.
"Well I wouldn't mind telling you, but it's not something that needs to be discussed at lunch"
"PFFTTT! You'd be surprised! Things usually get pretty vul-"Gilbert was cut off.
"-there's no need to explain, Prussia. And, regrettably, he's right. So go ahead and explain yourself." And you did. After you finished he added:
"Well normally I'd tell you to stay, but your family is probab-""don't have one. I live-lived with my friend."
"I see. In that case you're welcome to stay here. "
"Thank you Mr. - eh- Russia?"
"Call me Ivan. And your name?"
"_________ _________"
"Nice to meet you."
"Like wise."
"EH-HRM! If you two are done vith zhe greetings, can ve eat now? Signing treaties makes me hungry!"
"Heh. Fine."Ivan rolled his eyes and smiled."Latvia, go tell Liet and Eduard to bring out lunch, would you?"
"Y-yes M-Mr. Russia." The boy scurried off.
"Excuse me, but why d you refer to each other as countries?" Ivan looked at you.
"Because we are. I am Russia; this is what used to be-""UND SHTILL IST!" Gilbert interrupted "-Prussia, who NOW WORKS FOR ME!" there was a dark aura gathering around him. "The three in the kitchen are Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia. They also work for me." You were slightly intimidated by the strength of his voice. You decided not to get on the wrong side of this man.
***************************************
After the meal, Prussia started to leave. "Vhell, better go pack. I'll be back tomorrow."
He looked around. "Hey guys, you coming?"The Baltics looked at Russia, he nodded.
"O-okay, we're c-coming!" They ran out the the door, leaving you alone with the large Russian man.
"Come with me." he said "I would like to show you around." He led you around the yard until you came to the field. "This place is very special to me. I grow sunflowers here to bring warmth." He smiled. After a bit, you two went back inside.
***************************************
That night, you were awakened by someone tugging at your shirt. You looked up and saw Ivan's violet eyes. Instinctively, you backed away.
"Don't be afraid, I'm just going to change the bandages." He reassured. You didn't like the idea of him touching you, but they had to be changed, so you let him. He lifted your shirt just enough to clear the wrappings. He undid them slowly and gently, examining the wound.
"It's healing pretty fast," he noted, replacing the bandages with clean ones. He turned to leave.
"I-Ivan? Thanks."
"No problem. Good night, __________." And he left
****************************************
The next day was long. Prussia retuned and unpacked, the Baltics did chores, and Russia was doing paperwork. After they were done, you, Prussia, and the Baltics started talking about Russia. You guys talked all afternoon, and it was soon evening. Prussia told stories about Ivan
"Yeah, he used to be a real nice guy, but he tuned bad after all the wars. Just ask Liet! How many times has he beaten you, man?" "O-oh, well I s-sort of lost track after a hundred…"
"Yep', I lost track after twenty-five! Kesesesese!" he kept going on and on when suddenly, Russia had walked up behind you. He didn't look very happy.
"Prussia, I need to talk to you," as Prussia got up, so did the Baltics, looking around nervously. "ALONE!" Russia added through gritted teeth. The dark aura had come back and was a little more intense. Russia started down the hall, and Prussia followed him to his office.
*****************************************
A couple hours passed, and you started down the hall for bed. Outside of Russia's office you saw blood. There were two voices yelling.
"Irrelevant! You shouldn't have told her!"
"She vould've found out anyvays! You have a knack for losing your temper, Ivan!"
You looked in the door and gasped. Prussia was beaten and bloody. Unfortunately, your gasp caught their attention. Russia whipped around and you saw a bloodied faucet pipe. His eyes were hard and the aura was darker and more intense than ever. Ivan started towards you. Not knowing what else to do, you slammed the door in his face and ran to your room, locking the door and hiding in the corner. It was all in vain though. He broke in and found you.
"You shouldn't have listened in." his voice was cold and menacing. The strong Russian man lifted you off the ground by your neck and pinned you to the wall. You were scared and couldn't breathe.
"Blood….Floor….Prussia….You….Hurt…."
Every word was forced. He tightened his grip. "It wasn't your business, you should have kept walking." He was beyond mad now.
"Ivan….Please….Can't….Breathe…." he dropped you to the floor, but not before giving you a good slash across the chest. The air flooded into your lungs. He dragged you over to the bed by your hair and threw you onto it. He grabbed two large chains and bandages from his coat. You tried to escape, but he held you down and chained you to the bed. Then he took his gloves off and ripped off your slip. He roughly bandaged your chest and left the room, adding:
"I'll deal with you later"
You sat there unclothed and cowered in the darkness for what seemed like eternity. You struggled against the chains but failed to free yourself. Russia returned shortly and unfortunately he was still mad. You saw a hungry fire in his eyes as he walked over to you. He harshly removed the chains and you tried to run but again the large man held you down. His coat and scarf had disappeared. He lay down next to you and started grabbing you. You tried to edge away, but he only pulled you closer, pressing his body against yours.
"Ivan, please! Stop! You're hurting me! Ivan! You don't mean this! Snap out of it! Ivan! No! No! NO! STOP! PLEASE!"
You were scared and crying. But it was no use. He was too far gone and you knew it. You squirmed and tried to wiggle your way out of his grip but the Russian man was just too strong. You lay there, helpless as he kissed you and violently attacked your shaking body.
********************************
You awoke the next morning with no memory of last night. Your body was numb, so you never noticed the bandages on your chest. You walked to the study and found Ivan sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. He was sobbing heavily. You walk over to him and asked him what was wrong. He looked at you with sadness in his eyes backed with anger. Not at you, but at himself.
"I'm sorry," he cried, "I'm so, so sorry." He continued sobbing. You staggered backwards. All the gruesome memories of last night rush back to you. You look at him with terror and pain. "Y-you…"
"Go on!" he screamed at you. "Leave me! Just like the others! Run away!"
And you did. But you didn't run away, instead you ran to the fields of sunflowers. You sat yourself among the flowers and wept.
*********************************
You aren't quite sure how long you cried, but soon, Prussia came in.
"Vhat's wrong toots?" he asked
"L-last night….chains….R-russia….He-he forced m-me…." You kept crying. Prussia wrapped his arms around you, "Shhhhh…. Zhere, zhere, babe, it's okay! He didn't mean it! He just gets like zhat sometimes. Zhat's vhy ve try not to piss him off! Zhere vas nothing you could've done. He vould NEVER mean to hurt you. He loves you! He vould never try to force you into anything! France on the other hand, vell, him you have to vatch out for!"
"Really?"
"Yeah, I remember zhis vone time! Man vas Austria pissed!"
"No! I mean he really loves me?"
"Huh? Vell ja! Zhat' vhy he didn't vant me telling you about his past! He vas afraid you be scared and run off!"
"When I saw him he was so sad."
"Ja. Vhen he voke up next to you he got pretty upset. I thought he vould go psycho again. He vas so angry at himself for forcing you into zhat."
"Well, what do I do?"
"Here," he gave you a sunflower. "Give it to him and just talk to him. He's not a bad guy; he's just hurt and scared. He' been betrayed so many times, and everyone has left him."
"Okay, I will. Thank you Prussia!"
***********************************
"Russia? You still here?" sure enough, he was still in the study. He looked up and ran to hug you stopping in the middle.
"You-you didn't leave?"
"Nah! Just went outside to think. Here I brought you this." You gave him the sunflower.
"Why did you stay?" he was looking at the flower
"I've got nowhere else to go." You stated.
"You hate me, don't you?" he replied disappointedly.
"No Russia! I don't hate you!"
"You-You're not afraid of me?" He looked like a hopeful child. You didn't answer. The truth was you weren't just scared, you were terrified of him. He looked at you sadly,
"You're scared of me, aren't you?" Again, you didn't answer. You didn't want to hurt him, but something told you lying wouldn't help.
"Answer me!" there was an edge to his voice.
"Well, yes. Truth be told, you terrify me because of what you did. But I know you didn't mean it. You've had a difficult life. You've been hurt and abandoned. But you're a good person, Ivan." He grabbed you into a hug.
"I'm so sorry ______. I never meant to hurt you. I was scared that when you saw my other side you would leave me like everyone else. So I tried to stop you. I will never forgive myself for that."
"It's okay Ivan, I forgive you."
"No, it's not!" fat tears rolled down his cheeks. "I hurt you. I violated your body and almost killed you. I don't deserve your forgiveness!"
"You're right, you don't. You had no right to violate me and you know it-"
"You're not helping…"
"-and that's why I forgive you. Because you know, and you're truly sorry for it." He looked up at you. He pulled you into his bear hug and kissed you. It was a little forced at first, but strong and passionate, but sweet and you melted into it. He pulled away.
"I-I love you, _________"
"I love you too."
"Promise me you'll never leave me."
"I promise"

"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Life isn't worth it,
If it's lived without you."
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